It is interesting to me that in our contemporary American culture love is often seen (ironically enough) as a negative thing. People seem to fear love—either loving someone else, or someone else loving them. Unless they desire another person, and then they want love from them; but it seems that when someone says “I love you” to another person, they are really saying “I want you,” or “I need you.” And so, it makes sense that people would be resistant and wary of the sentiment.
In this culture, love is all about attachment and possession—”you belong to me,” “you are mine,” etc. Real love, conversely is not about attachment and possession at all.
And so, again, it makes sense that people do not work well with love, because though the word “love” is being used, love is not really what it is about.
People talk about love, they say they feel love, but most of the time it isn’t really love, it’s something else—desire, craving, need for validation or approbation, lust, etc. In addition, when most people “love” someone, it is about themselves, not the other person. Real love is not about “me” or “I.”
Real love is wholly non-threatening, for it is inclusive and non-judgmental; there are no ulterior motives in real love; a person who really loves is not out to get anything, or prove anything, or replace anything. People in this society do not know how to love because they do not know what love is.
From my personal notes, 8/13/00