Do we have the right to do what we want to our children, or do we have a responsibility to do what we can for them?
We do not have the right to do whatever we want to and with our children. Children are not property, they are not “owned.”
I have often pondered whether I think that having and caring for a child should be earned (that is, for people who live in a society)—maybe prospective parents should have to demonstrate that they are capable of doing so properly. I think that in a society of spiritual children—of unenlightened people, in other words—raising a child is, and should be, a responsibility, not a “right.” Children need help growing and developing. As much as they can do on their own, it is a fraction of what they could do with the right help.
Children are not tools for adults to fix their own problems and issues with; they are not servants, slaves, pets, or property. They are people, living beings; and to limit and hinder the growth, development, and happiness of children is one of the worst things that happens in the world.
A child is not “free” in the sense that, ultimately, freedom is an aspect of adulthood; but that does not mean they are somehow less than human, less than a living being.
It is the job of adults to realize that children are conditioned, cannot help but be conditioned (unlike adults, who can help it, if they want to), but it is our job to help them, encourage them, respect them (yes, I said “respect”), and teach them how to be free and responsible people, which, of course, entails thinking for themselves. Of course, this would requires a relinquishing of the “power over others” that parents so often feel (and ignorantly use as a substitution for exerting proper control over themselves) when they have children.
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From my personal notes, 6/6/00
