It sometimes seems to me that the world is full of givers and takers—those who are generous and selfless, and those who are greedy and selfish. But, this is not to say that one is (at least, as they appear on the surface) better or worse than the other. Many people who outwardly seem to give really do it for themselves, even if they don’t realize it. And selfish people don’t always show/reveal themselves as greedy, but are rather ignorant, and simply do not know how to be truly generous and selfless. In a sense, we are all conditioned in these ways, some more than others, all at least a bit differently than others.
We are all both, I think, to a certain degree, for we all, at least in some ways, assume—and are thus oriented by—the self, even those of us who realize that the self, as we know it, is an illusion. As long as we are “self’-based,” or “self’-ruled,” then we will be caught in this game. For those on one side need to find harmony without resorting to the extreme of the other side. This is no easy task.
One might think that a giver would be well-matched with a taker, but this can never really lead to true happiness, for either person. I think the only way to be happy is to both be givers. Receiving is incidental, not expected, not demanded or taken for granted, and in this way, is both harmless and wonderful. It is a matter of outgrowing the attitude of entitlement. This is no easy task, either, because no two people will agree on everything at every moment, so one will need to get what they want over the other. As long as this is done with love on both sides, this is okay. As long as there is no selfishness on either side, I think that it will balance itself out.
If it is done with love, I think distribution will be naturally fair. If things are truly done out of love and generosity, things will distribute evenly, like milk in coffee, or spices in a tomato sauce.
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From my personal notes, 4/14/00
