We reward children for learning right from wrong by punishing wrong and rewarding right. This, though, is how we run our adult societies as well. I am not so sure that we, as adults, should be rewarded or praised for simply being right; nor should we expect to be praised and/or rewarded for being/doing right. For is that not how we (appropriately, perhaps) treat children, and is this discussion not based on the idea of growth, and thus the difference between a child and an adult?
It is that mysterious transition between child and adult—a transition which we very much misunderstand—which is again at issue.
The having and taking responsibility for our own actions and lives is where I would draw the line. I am not sure that we should expect this of children (in fact, I am pretty sure that we should not), but I do think that it is a—if not the—true hallmark of what it means to really be an adult. And as I have said before, most so-called adults in this society are really children in adult bodies.
It is in this way that I do not think, for example, that parents should be praised for loving and caring for their children, because that is what they are supposed to do—it is simply right.
We live in a society of reward and punishment, a society where reward and punishment become our motivations, a society which is built by, and caters to, children masquerading as adults, who crave, cling, and become dependent upon the praise, punishment, and validation of others for their codes of ethics and conduct.
Thus, in the same way that I do not think adults should need, or receive, praise or reward for being right, I do not think that a real adult should expect or need praise for seeing things as they really are, for seeing and understanding reality as opposed to illusion, for this is what adults are supposed to do. I am calling for nothing less than a radical re-examination of what it means to be a child or an adult; of what a child or adult is, and what we should expect from them.
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From my personal notes, 12/7/99.
