I say I do not believe in the idea of a “leap of faith,” but is that not exactly what I do every morning when I step out of bed and assume the ground will be solid under my feet?
Yes and no.
I make certain leaps of faith in order to get out of bed and do anything, I suppose; yet, in fact, I think that these generally accepted leaps of faith should also be questioned, or at least one should be mindful of them. I have yet to see the benefit of taking anything for granted, at least mindlessly and thoughtlessly. Of course, there are leaps of faith that are based on experience, and as such are different than leaps of faith based on nothing but speculation and misguided belief.
So, I feel fairly confident in answering “no” to the above question; for there is an important difference between being open to the possibility that something exists while questioning whether is really does exist and what it means to “exist” at all, and making that leap of faith of believing that it does exist, without any doubt or question. And as I question and doubt myself and everything around me at this point in my life, I cannot thus be said to be making such leaps of faith. I question, investigate, ponder, examine; I do not believe. Belief is inherently limiting, and though I recognize and admit that I have many limitations, some of which are illusions of my own creation, some of which seem to be imposed on me, I refuse to sit idly by and blindly be their slave.
It is precisely my limitations and my illusions that are the objects of my inquiry. Belief, while it can be very comforting and even intellectually challenging, simply gets in the way of this process.
I do not think that I can flap my arms and fly, though I am unwilling to accept that it will forever be impossible. In fact, can I not do that exact thing in an environment where there is no gravity? (Critics: start qualifying now! — “I meant here on earth within the limits of gravity!”)
That which people deem impossible is really that of which they have yet to be otherwise convinced. It is, to me, a useless and egotistical way of thinking, and it, in fact, hinders true growth and understanding. What I do think, though, is that I can deconstruct many, if not all, illusions in my life.
I am not saying that I think the laws of physics are right or wrong. What I am saying is that our understanding of the way things work, and how they are, are limited only by what we perceive, and believe, to be possible and impossible. What I am saying above is that limits are, to me, like fears and authority — to be faced, challenged and confronted with an open mind and heart. Any fear, belief, limitation, or authority that cannot stand up against honest criticism and questioning is nothing more than an illusion.
I am not religious in the generally accepted sense because I do not blindly accept, label, or worship those things which are considered to be unknown or unknowable. I seek them out, drag them into the light, and question them in order to see them, or even expose them, as, or for what, they really are. So often it will not be something fixed and stable; for when I see or understand it in a different way, the illusion is broken and I see it in a new light. But it is not the thing itself that has changed, it was my perspective.
I can recognize some of the limitations of the way I currently know and understand the reality of which I am a part (which is why I do not jump off a tall building expecting to float lightly to the ground), and I realize that I have limits of which I am not yet aware. But, through both deductive and inductive logic, I have learned that only when we are open to questioning, open to possibility, can we see more clearly.
Being open is a process. To be open is to live the process that is life. To be closed to anything except that which is utterly absurd (“I am God because I say so!” — he might be God, but probably not because he says so) is contrary to process; it is to choose to live in the dark, in denial. It is in this way that belief is close-minded; for to believe in one thing is to be closed to, to deny, something else. That “something else” is another perspective, another way of seeing (understanding) things, the number of which is (even logically and mathematically) infinite. We all have the same choice: open or closed, asleep or awake.
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From my personal notes, 8/16/99.
