Money comes and goes. Why should what I do with myself, with my time, with my life, always be dictated by money, something that is essentially cultural, a part of a system which need not control me if I choose not to let it? Chasing ways to make money feels like running on a treadmill—you never really get anywhere.
There’s something wrong when making money becomes primary, becomes the bottom line motivation for not only what we do but how we do it. How is that freedom? Even if you are not literally in chains, are you really free running on the treadmill? When money and the making of money becomes the primary and final arbiter of what we do and how we do it, something is drastically wrong.
It is sometimes hard to resist the perceptions, and often selfish motivations, of others and not let them affect me. I sometimes feel like I am resisting a world that wants to capture me, brainwash me, and turn me into one of them: the sleeping, the selfish, the ego-controlled masses. Kind of like Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
Perhaps this is why people who seek truth look for others who are doing the same—to find a community of support, rather than one that seeks to cut you down and subvert your efforts out of jealousy, ego-oriented selfishness, insecurities, and fears. It is sometimes hard to see and do the right way when you are surrounded by people, a society and culture, whose efforts are so misguided and confused; to live in a society of so many shared and misunderstood delusions.
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From my personal notes, 7/2/99.
